Thursday, July 25, 2013

Never Boring.....Intended Parent Side

As promised in the world of surrogacy and pregnancy this process is never boring. About a week ago on a Saturday afternoon I was doing the boring Saturday morning routine. Laundry, errands and just as I was walking in the house I received a phone call from our carrier. Now, we talk to her all the time but typically it's via email or text message and once in a while on the phone. When the phone rang I saw her name and I had a feeling this wasn't great news. She started out the call very calmly saying: "The baby is fine I heard the heartbeat, but I did have some bleeding."

I could tell she was nervous on the phone and I immediately felt HORRIBLE that she had to make this call to us. When speaking to a pregnant person, no less someone who is carrying your child you have to try to remain calm. The last thing I wanted to do was sound too freaked out, although I'm pretty sure she could tell you I was nervous. She also said that she had gone to the hospital and the doctor wasn't sure what caused the bleeding but they think it was a fluke occurrence since it stopped. I told her I was so sorry this had happened and wanted to make sure she was feeling okay and to keep me update on how she felt the next few days. Right after getting off the phone I paused for a second and debated how I should tell my hubby the news. Over the past few years we have taken turns at hearing news, giving news and relaying news. We often have an unspoken rule that we both try not to freak out at the exact same time. Although that doesn't always work......I lasted about 2 hours (in my defense he was at work for part of day) and then tried to 'casually' mention the news to him. Well, that went over like a lead balloon and his first question was "is she okay, are the doctors worried." I reminded him that we can't do anything other than support her and hope for the best and since the bleeding has since stopped that probably was a good sign that things hopefully were fine, especially since this trouble maker baby had a strong heartbeat.

 Our number one concern is that our carrier felt okay, because we knew from past experience that this isn't actually the most comforting experience. I assured him she was but rightfully so had a rough day. We were so grateful that her friends and her amazing hubby were there to help her out. My next thought was the bleeding was probably caused by the twin pregnancy or the small SCH she had in the past. Also, bleeding is no stranger to IVF pregnancies. A little word of advice, when talking to other friends about pregnancy if it's an IVF pregnancy try not to compare yourself, because IVF often does not follow the same rules and things can go wacky for no reason.  Either way, we were worried but wanted to see how the next few days went. We decided a ultrasound wouldn't hurt and even though the doctor said there isn't much we can do if something was wrong (never the words future parents want to hear, although we know this is true) so we asked for an ultrasound and they scheduled one. Meanwhile, our incredible carrier borrowed from someone a Fetal Doppler and send us this video one afternoon.

We honestly think we probably have the worlds greatest surrogate on the planet. Not many people would have gone out and done this for someone else, not to mention gone the extra mile of taping it and sending it. We aren't using this as medical information, just as a fun way to hear the heartbeat, which was pretty cool. She has since sent us several more and it's always really fun to receive these! She had an appointment scheduled for that Thursday so she went an hour early and the night before she went into the appointment she asked if they knew the sex would we want to know. We didn't hesitate and said YES! She told us she still didn't want to know the sex and would have the medical staff member write down "blue or pink" and put it in an envelope along with any pictures and she would give to her friend when she got home and her friend would email or text us the information. Well that didn't quite work out. She told the tech to let her know when he was starting to go in and look for the goods. Apparently he didn't let her know soon enough and being the smart person that she is she caught a view of something that she didn't want to see. She sent me a text message saying that THANKFULLY everything looked fine on the ultrasound that day and they couldn't find the source of the bleeding early in the week but it was most likely due to the small SCH or past twin sac that never grew past 9-10 weeks. The doctor's appointment also went well and they took some blood to run a few more tests. I received a call from her about 2 hours later and she was laughing since it was somewhat possible that the cat had been let out of the bag, but she promised her friend she could be the one to give the news. She put her very sweet friend on the phone who gave us the happy news that the baby was a..........................
Okay, maybe it wasn't a royal baby update but it's a BOY!!! We couldn't be more thrilled! I was on my way home from work when I received the call and when my hubby got home from work he asked for the big NEWS. I think I SHOCKED him by telling him it was a boy. All along we thought it was a girl (along with our carrier and many of her friends and our family) since the heart rate had continued to be high. We proved again, that this was an old wives' tale. We couldn't be more excited and grateful. We could have cared less what the gender was, but we have to admit, it's fun to know. Now, let's just hope that we have a boring remainder of the summer. Keep the good thoughts and prayers coming our way!

1 comment:

  1. Ack!!!! Yay for baby BOY!!! Congrats all around!