Thursday, November 7, 2013

Questions, questions, questions... Surrogate Side

What a great idea for a post by my IPs, huh?  Thought I'd do one of my own...

Like K&J, I have also endured many questions from a wide variety of avenues -- family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, neighbors, community members, hospital staff and even strangers.  Many of these questions are all along the same spectrum. 

Here are just a few:

Q: Did you know the couple you are carrying for beforehand?  Are they family?
A:  No.  We both found one another through our agency who diligently listened to our wishes and delivered a perfect match.  Couldn't be happier!  They certainly feel like family now!

Q: Aren't you afraid that you won't be able to give the baby away?
A:  No!  Not at all.  You have to go into this journey with the right mindset and know WHY you want to do this in the first place.  This baby is not mine; not in any way.  I am simply growing their child for them.  I understand that this is not for everyone, but it is for me.  I can't wait to give this baby to them! 

Q: Why? Why would you want to do this? Why go through the discomfort of pregnancy for a stranger?
A:  Everyone has their own reason for wanting to become a gestational carrier and there is not just one correct answer.  My reason was to be able to provide a deserving couple with the greatest blessing ever: a child.  I know how happy I felt becoming a parent and why not try to share the love?  Becoming a parent is the greatest gift from God.  By doing this, I am allowing another family the ability to witness the sheer joy of having a family of their own. My own pregnancies hadn't been bad and I actually enjoy being pregnant.  My question to them: why the heck not?? 

Q: Aren't you going to develop a bond with the baby and become attached?
A:  Well, yes.  But, not the way you would typically think of a bond.  The bond that I have with this baby is more of a "best friend" vibe.  You know, the one where you offer support, love, encouragement?  I am rooting for this baby so he can unite with his parents.  I am doing all that I can so he can be a healthy baby for his parents.  

Q: Will you treat this pregnancy any different than you did your own?
A:  Not one bit.  I would never be able to bring myself to do anything I wouldn't have done for my own babies.  If anything, I feel a little bit MORE of a responsibility to be good since this isn't my own child!  Lol!  But, like with my own children, I don't do what I'm not supposed to do.  (Apart from the occasional hot pastrami sandwich, but you get my drift.)  I also don't do some of the things that are totally acceptable in pregnancy; such as caffeine, artificial sugars, etc.  Those are just my own preferences.  I didn't do them for my own and I wouldn't think of doing them with this butterball.  

Q: Will you want to have a relationship with the baby after he's born?
A:  This is probably the hardest question I am asked.  I don't want any "special" relationship with him, but I also don't want to just let this family go away and never be heard from again.  I think I have developed more of a bond with K&J at this point as great friends than anything.  Just to be able to see their family grow together.  That is what I'd like most.

Our happy, little surrogate family...

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