Pre-birth order preparations... Surrogate Side

For those of you who are wondering what exactly a pre-birth order is, I've googled an explanation that I thought was easily interpreted...

"When a surrogate is used, hospital and state birth record procedures operate to put the

surrogate’s name on the original birth record as the child’s mother simply because she

gave birth. If the surrogate is married, her husband’s name is also normally put on the

original birth record as the father. The surrogate’s husband’s name can be removed from

the birth certificate if the law of the state in which the child is born allows the intended

father to substitute his name on the original birth record upon the parent’s execution of an

acknowledgement of paternity or some similar state-authorized form. There is usually no

similar administrative form or procedure available, however, for the intended mother who

does not give birth. As a result, the surrogate carrier must cooperatively participate in

some sort of legal proceeding either before or after birth to vary this usual course of

events and place both intended parents' names on the original or an amended birth record

and terminate her presumptive parental rights. One proceeding to accomplish this result

is to obtain a pre-birth parentage order." (By: Steven H. Snyder and Mary Patricia Byrn)

Last week I received an email from my attorney requesting that I fill out some documentation regarding obtaining the pre-birth order for the baby I am carrying.  I printed out all of the documents (there were several) and brought them home to review.

When I finally had a moment to myself to be able to actually process the information that I had to without distraction and constant "mommy-ing", I sat down to take a look at the documents.  These were all very official-looking papers with A LOT of legal jargon throughout.  I have to admit, I was overly curious and just a little bit nervous.  I wondered if any of it was out to trick me or conclude that I would be deemed the "mother" of this child...  Not sure that would go over well with the hubs!

Much to my relief (not that I really  thought any differently), the paperwork very clearly states (over and over and over again - no lie) that K&J are the legal biological parents and I am just the carrier with no biological DNA in connection with the baby.  Phew!  (It was actually quite comical how many times and ways it was stated that I was just the "babysitter".)

I signed all the pages that needed to be signed and left them out for my hubby to sign as well. I told him that I would leave them on the kitchen counter for him if he could sign them when he got home.  He agreed.

As I was preparing to leave the next morning (and what a feat that is!), I remembered that I had to send out these documents and grabbed them from the counter.  I quickly glanced and saw that he had signed them!  Way to go, babe!

When I got to work, I was getting the paperwork ready to send out and something inside me said to review the documents one last time and make sure everything was completed correctly.  Good thing, too -- my husband only signed the very first page of the stack!  What a goober.

So, being the good wife that I am, I seek to make him feel completely incapable and put these little "sign here" flags everywhere he needs to sign and leave them for him to sign again that night.

He loved it (wink, wink).  At least I got all the signatures I needed!!!

Just another step closer to giving K&J their dream...

22 week update... Surrogate Side

Date: August 27, 2013

How Many Weeks:  22 weeks!

Total Weight Gain: About 6lbs still...

Baby Size:  Papaya

  
 

What is going on with this baby:

•  Now that he's got more developed eyes and lips, he's looking even more like a newborn - this is gonna be one gorgeous fella!!  Just sayin'.

• He's sleeping in cycles (or is supposed to be...!) -- about 12 to 14 hours per day (definitely less than that - this boy can move!  Maybe he just sleeps when I do???).

Maternity Clothes: Yes, kinda.  Belly bands are almost out the window - I can still do it!  I can do it, I can do it...  I do prefer, however, the maternity pants.  I just don't like how baggy/saggy they are in the bottom.  I wouldn't say that I was "petite" by any means, but those maternity wear makers just aren't the greatest with accommodating the varied sizes of women who become pregnant and need pristine-fitting clothing.  Yes, I am picky about my wardrobe...

Sleep: Eh...what can I say?  It could be better, but it's not so bad.  My baby girl continues to deem it necessary to alert me of her midnight potty excursions.  Just last night, my hubby tried to intercept (since he had just gotten home and was still awake), but, uh no.  That didn't work.  She just got scared and whined until she made it to my side of the bed.  Lol.  I had to pee anyway...  But, I did thank the hubby for his efforts.  Sweet guy, sometimes.

Movement:  All. The. Time.  Does this boy ever sleep???  Not that I'm complaining - I enjoy feeling him kick around in there.  But, I don't really enjoy when he is kicking the awkward, uncomfortable parts.  Like, my cervix.  Weird, weird, weird feeling. The bladder is not much fun, either.  Especially when you need to go!

Symptoms: None, really.  Apart from the ones mentioned last week (enormous, aching boobies and hideous varicose and spider veins), I've got nuthin' new to report.  Maybe headaches, actually.  They've been on the incline these days...

Food Cravings/Aversions:  No real cravings, still.  Cereal is still a big ticket item.  I do enjoy ice cream every now and then, too. (Friendly's Sundae Xtreme Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup).  Umm, yeah.  That is some good stuff right there.  Okay, I'll confess.  It's been a nightly treat these past few days... 

I'm looking forward to: 

• Pregnancy-wise:  when the baby no longer kicks my cervix.  It really  is very awkward and weird. 
• Personally: my brother's wedding coming up very soon!!!  I cannot believe he will no longer be my bachelor brother.  I didn't think this day would come, but always hoped it would.  He's my very best friend in the world.  Can't wait to share this special day with him and his future wife and baby's momma.

Belly:

Weekly updates... Surrogate Side

So you want weekly updates??  Let me see what I can do.

Date:  August 22, 2013

How Many Weeks:  21 weeks!

Total Weight Gain:  6 glorious pounds

Baby Size:  Pomegranate

  

What is going on with this baby:

• As his digestive system preps for the outside world, he's manufacturing meconium -- the tarry black substance K&J will find in his first dirty diaper (ew)!
• If it was a girl, she would already have a lifetime's supply of eggs in her womb -- about six million of them!  Wowza! 

Maternity Clothes:  I am still trying to utilize my pre-baby clothes, but most are not accommodating me anymore.  My tops are starting to be just a tad too short and I feel as though I am constantly "checking" to make sure I'm all covered up.  I'm beginning to really dislike my belly band and only want to wear my weekend clothes.  That just won't go over well at work...  Or, maybe it would??  I won't try it -- I just can't bring myself to do it.  I'm weird like that.

Sleep:  Umm... this one is tricky.  I think pregnancy causes "pregnancy-induced insomnia" for me.  My brain just doesn't turn off.  I'll be thinking of the dumbest and most ridiculous stuff - like, "why does my husband make so much noise when he comes home from work so late..."  (wink, wink)  Another obstacle I'm facing right now is my 2.5 year old daughter is beginning to wake in the middle of the night to use the potty.  She is completely independent with this process during the day, but feels the need to let mommy know when she needs to go in the middle of the night.  She comes in to wake me up (okay, okay - let's face it, I'm already up as soon as I hear her turn her doorknob...), says, "momma, potty".  I then tell her that she can go and when she's done, she returns to ask me to help her back to bed to fix her blankie.  I am hopeful that she will learn to get that blanket to completely cover her body at some point, but for now, I am kinda okay with this process as I use this opportunity to go potty myself...

Movement:  Yep - a lot of it!  Butterball prefers evening performances and especially enjoys the boost of energy after meals.

Symptoms:  Grossly sore and enormous boobies that won't stop growing...  Oh, and bulging varicose veins and unsightly purple spider veins decorating my right calf and ankle.  So smexy.

Food Cravings/Aversions:  I am currently enjoying cereal (Special K Red Berries) and almond milk.  Although, Cocoa Puffs sound delightful, too.  With every pregnancy I've had, I've always been drawn to chocolate milk - this pregnancy is no different on that account.  My body doesn't tolerate milk (pregnant or not) so Light Chocolate Silk it is!  Aversions?  Umm, I wish!  But, honestly, there are times when I'm just not hungry.  Like, for a long time.  It's a good balance.  (wink, wink)

I'm looking forward to: The time when K&J can feel their baby move through my belly.  Or, at least when I can get a video of it to send to them!

Belly:

Oh, really? ... Surrogate Side

Bring on the memory loss in full swing -- Effective....now.

This week (and it's only the beginning - yikes!) has been a whirlwind of "uhhh...I do?" moments.  Let me explain:

Just yesterday, I received a phone call from my OB office to confirm my appointment for Wednesday of this week.  I was "unaware" that I had an appointment for Wednesday.  I go ahead and confirm it and decide to take a look at my calendar.  Yep - it's right there.  I must have booked it at my last appointment and completely forgot about it.  (In my defense, that was like a month ago and I WOULD have seen it appear on my calendared events for tomorrow on my computer, but it was only Monday!)  Okay, one for team memory loss. 

To make a Monday even better...  Just as I thought I was being productive, organized and timely, I am smacked in the face with yet another "uh..." moment.  My son just recently had a birthday and I was depositing his birthday money into his bank account.  No big deal.  I get the receipt and plan to put it into the envelope dedicated to "money for deposit" at home -- yes, I try to be THAT organized.  As I put the receipt into the envelope, I notice 2 checks that I failed to deposit from back in April...  I call my children's Godfather (my brother) to let him know of my absentmindedness and he laughs at me.  I just can't win.  Two for team memory loss...

However, this morning I received a phone call from an optometrist office to confirm an appointment that I had for my daughter for Thursday of this week.  I was also unaware of this appointment, but this time it was legitimate.  I really  had no idea that this was even scheduled.  You know they don't have a real person make these calls anymore so I had to press this button and that button and this button to actually speak with a live person.  But, in true G fashion, the call just ends after all my accurate rerouting.  So, I call the office line that appeared on my phone and from there was rerouted to another line.  Low and behold, I'm put through to voicemail.  What?!  The message states that they will return my call either today or the next business day.  That's convenient - especially since her "scheduled" appointment is this coming Thursday.  Oh well.  I guess I'll just suck it up and take off work and bring her.  This one WAS NOT my fault; one point for the home team!

I know it may not seem like a big deal, but you can't do that to a pregnant woman with 2 small children and a husband who is working or out of town a lot.  That is just not fair!  Who does that?  Who "schedules" an appointment without actually scheduling it with the patient (or patient's mom)?  And, the icing on the cake?  My hubby will be out of state (for my brother's bachelor party, oh boy...) for the remainder of the week.  Gah!  That means, both kids will be in tow.  Fun times ahead!

Thanks for listening to my most current WTF moment.  The ladies in my office like to laugh at me as they watch my head spin.  I quite enjoy being the circus act of the day/week.  So, I thought I'd share it with all of you as well.

Now, on to the bigger and better things in my life right now:

20 happy, healthy weeks...

Baby boy is quite the little gymnast and has a pretty good routine going these days.  I can almost rely on a nightly performance around 7:30/8pm.  The other night, butterball was in rare form and sitting relatively high and I could feel him - not just his kicks, but his actual body - and I had my husband feel it, too.  It was wild!  Baby boy typically  likes to sit super low and to the right (just like my daughter did...there must be a good little niche there).  Come to think of it, this could be the reason for all of my bulging and purple veins in my right leg!!!!  Geesh, I'm brilliant! (wink, wink) 

PS:  I received my new (and enormously large) bras in the mail.  WooHoo!  Apart from their appalling looks (who am I trying to impress?), they feel great!  Now if I can just get my boobies to stop growing...

Updates in Baby BOY Land........Intended Parents Side

The time had come for our 'big' 20 week ultrasound. Although we already knew the sex of the baby, I had planned to travel to our carrier's big ultrasound, which was yesterday and I was SO EXCITED! I left Tuesday a little early from work that evening and headed to the airport. All seemed to be going well, but we were stuck on the runway for almost an hour and because of this I was afraid I was going to miss my connection and this was the last flight of the day. Airlines can be so fun. As everyone went literally RUNNING of the plane, I joined them in the race for my gate and quickly realized that it was about 5 miles away, and before I knew it, my shoe had fallen off and that preceded to slow me down as I knocked down a few people in the process of finding my lost shoe. What a mess. Note to self, wear different shoes.

I also managed to take a quick look down and my pant zipper was unzipped (keeping it classy) as well in my amazing race. This truly explained the strange looks I had been getting since mile 2.  I had to laugh out loud. I just barely made my connection and sat down on my seat sweating profusely, and feeling badly for the person next to me. When the captain announced that we would be having another flight delay for.....wait for it....the light bulb in the coffee maker was broken and we weren't allowed to take off until this was repaired, which proceeded to take another 45 minutes. Long story short, we made it, I landed and headed to the hotel for a little sleep before I met our amazing carrier who kindly picked me up from my hotel and we headed to the ultrasound. We all felt really excited about the ultrasound and only a TINY bit nervous because our 16 week blood test which included an AFP test came back a little elevated which could have been a sign of Spina Bifida. Yet we weren't really worried (nor was the doctor) since we had had many ultrasounds in the past and so far all has looked great. She and I quickly talked about her family and how things have been going and caught up on life. She looked so amazing and is so sweet to be around and most importantly she is starting to feel a little better. We are so lucky to have her as our carrier!!!! G had a full bladder and we had to wait for about 10-15 minutes and as soon as they called her name we quickly followed the medical staff member who would be performing the ultrasound. She told her that G didn’t have to have a full bladder and those were magic words and she was able to use the bathroom before we got started. Happy dance.

 During the ultrasound we were able to see the little turkey in full view and we were told that things looked great. The baby was breech at this point, but we all know there is plenty of time for the baby to change positions. We were told that we should have another ultrasound in early November around 32 weeks just to monitor growth. Baby was also measuring about a week behind, but we were told that can significantly vary as well, and they weren’t concerned. We were so excited that things have been progressing smoothly and we hope for a very boring next few months.  My hubby and I have never made it past 25 weeks, so once we hit that mark, I think we will feel really happy and it will be here before you know it. Sadly, I had to leave shortly after the appointment for an earlier flight home than I originally anticipated, due to an issue at work. I was hoping I could have visited more with G, but we can't wait to visit again and all in all it was a PERFECT morning!

19 weeks (and counting)... Surrogate Side

I cannot believe that we are almost half-way through this pregnancy! Tomorrow is our "big" ultrasound and we get to see this butterball on screen for a good amount of time.  K is coming for this appointment - WooHoo!  So exciting!  Although we already know the sex, we are still looking forward to seeing his growth and watch him move.

So, I've been feeling this baby MOVE (a lot).  The other night as baby boy was doing his evening routine inside his ever expanding oven, I pushed my hand into my belly to see if I could feel the movement on my hand.  I'm not sure, but I think  I could!  I'm hoping that maybe if the baby cooperates...yeah, probably not likely, but...if he cooperates, that maybe  K would be able to feel him while she's here.  Wouldn't that be the sweetest?  I may  have to convince the little butterball with just a few Hershey's kisses....

On a side note, today is my hubby's birthday.  Question: would it be terrible if I plan to take him out to dinner (yes, because I don't like to cook), but choose a restaurant that would best fit my most recent food "cravings"??  I'm thinking hibachi.  Or, maybe rustic Italian?  Or, Mexican sounds delightful, too........

Wherever it is that I decide to go, I will not expose my true intentions (although he will probably already figure it out).  That said, I plan to eat a lot.  I'm a hungry girl!  This baby needs his ammunition to continue his acrobatics!

19 weeks (and counting)...

...I think my boobies are growing larger than my belly at this point.  I've had to order new bras and the size is just scary.  'Nuff said about that...

It's about time... Surrogate Side

Well, the time has finally come (and I fear actually writing this down as I don't want to jinx myself), but I actually feel good.  Like good, good.  Like normal good!  Besides the fact that this butterball likes to sit really low  -- which makes getting down to my kids' level very difficult (and sometimes painful) -- I feel like a normal person!  Now this is how I remember pregnancy!!! Ahh...

Although I feel good, it doesn't make seeing things that I want to have, but can't because I'm pregnant, any easier.  Just yesterday, my favorite beer of all time came out for the season -- Shipyard PumpkinHead!  Mmm!  I mean I don't drink a lot, but I do look forward to the first PumpkinHead of the season.  What's really gonna get my panties in a knot is the day my husband brings home the first case and cracks one open right in front of me and takes a nice long taste.  He'll savor every delightful drop and make sure I am watching every sip he takes; all because he's just so sweet to me.

Umm... drool.

It's okay, though.  I'll make it.  There is nothing more rewarding than this journey I have chosen for myself.  My husband tells me all the time, "you signed up for this" and he's right.  I did.  And, I do not regret it.  (And for the record, I REALLY want a nice, fresh deli sandwich with crisp lettuce, ripe tomato, smoked ham and turkey on a mustard covered fresh baked roll.)  Great, now I'm drooling again.

Alright, enough of my "cravings".  On to the good stuff!  Another belly pic!

Not much has changed since last time, but here's 18.5 weeks!

Although it may appear as though not much has changed since my last photo, I have to tell you that A LOT has changed inside that belly!  I can feel a lot more movement!  Little kicks, too!  This little boy is a mover.  Good luck with that, K&J!