"When a surrogate is used, hospital and state birth record procedures operate to put the
surrogate’s name on the original birth record as the child’s mother simply because she
gave birth. If the surrogate is married, her husband’s name is also normally put on the
original birth record as the father. The surrogate’s husband’s name can be removed from
the birth certificate if the law of the state in which the child is born allows the intended
father to substitute his name on the original birth record upon the parent’s execution of an
acknowledgement of paternity or some similar state-authorized form. There is usually no
similar administrative form or procedure available, however, for the intended mother who
does not give birth. As a result, the surrogate carrier must cooperatively participate in
some sort of legal proceeding either before or after birth to vary this usual course of
events and place both intended parents' names on the original or an amended birth record
and terminate her presumptive parental rights. One proceeding to accomplish this result
is to obtain a pre-birth parentage order." (By: Steven H. Snyder and Mary Patricia Byrn)
Last week I received an email from my attorney requesting that I fill out some documentation regarding obtaining the pre-birth order for the baby I am carrying. I printed out all of the documents (there were several) and brought them home to review.
When I finally had a moment to myself to be able to actually process the information that I had to without distraction and constant "mommy-ing", I sat down to take a look at the documents. These were all very official-looking papers with A LOT of legal jargon throughout. I have to admit, I was overly curious and just a little bit nervous. I wondered if any of it was out to trick me or conclude that I would be deemed the "mother" of this child... Not sure that would go over well with the hubs!
Much to my relief (not that I really thought any differently), the paperwork very clearly states (over and over and over again - no lie) that K&J are the legal biological parents and I am just the carrier with no biological DNA in connection with the baby. Phew! (It was actually quite comical how many times and ways it was stated that I was just the "babysitter".)
I signed all the pages that needed to be signed and left them out for my hubby to sign as well. I told him that I would leave them on the kitchen counter for him if he could sign them when he got home. He agreed.
As I was preparing to leave the next morning (and what a feat that is!), I remembered that I had to send out these documents and grabbed them from the counter. I quickly glanced and saw that he had signed them! Way to go, babe!
When I got to work, I was getting the paperwork ready to send out and something inside me said to review the documents one last time and make sure everything was completed correctly. Good thing, too -- my husband only signed the very first page of the stack! What a goober.
So, being the good wife that I am, I seek to make him feel completely incapable and put these little "sign here" flags everywhere he needs to sign and leave them for him to sign again that night.
He loved it (wink, wink). At least I got all the signatures I needed!!!
Just another step closer to giving K&J their dream...