Thursday, October 10, 2013

Edu-ma-cate the Judge... Surrogate Side

So, if you follow this blog, you're probably wondering about the status of our pre-birth order.  (Maybe?)  Well, our attorneys submitted a motion to have a pre-birth order hearing and our motion was DENIED by the Judge.  Let me just tell you, seeing the official nature of these documents and then seeing "Motion Denied" was heart wrenching (and scary).  Boom!  It hits you pretty hard.  My immediate thought was "uh-oh"...

Well, luckily, I have a pretty great attorney who immediately calls me after receiving a relatively freaked out responding email to his news about the standing of our motion to the court.  (In my defense, I did apologize for the erratic nature of that reply.)  I mean, I was just a little bit overwhelmed with what I just learned and a flood of worry surfaced.  I had lots of questions begin to emerge all at the same time.  He proceeded to explain what the denied motion really meant.  The bottom line, it was a "scheduling" matter; not to be confused with calendar scheduling, but rather a "timing thing".

My attorney explained that the Judge didn't really dismiss the request altogether, but would like to revisit this after this baby is born because he doesn't feel like he has the authority to make that order prior to the birth of the child. (Umm, dang right you can - you're the JUDGE!)  The Judge even said that all parties can participate via telephone at a post birth hearing -- so that's a positive step in the right direction that he will, indeed, grant a post-birth order; releasing my name from the birth certificate and granting all parental rights to the rightful parents, K&J.  I asked my attorney why he denied it in the first place if he would just grant a post-birth order after I deliver and my attorney said, "good question". 

He went on to give me a better insight to the nature of the Judge we so fortunately were assigned.  Our Judge is an "older gentleman" who is not as well-versed in the progression of medical technology as we would like him to be.  I was like, really?!  I relay this information to K and she says to me, "so we get the guy who doesn't get medical technology??"  Yep.  We're just that lucky. 

After making if very clear to my attorney that I would really like to have this all taken care of before this baby is born, I went into my (probably a bit over-reactive) questions and concerns:
  1. Will my name be on the birth certificate?  He says that in all likelihood, no.  But, if it does need to be, it will be rectified ASAP (within the first 5-7 days).  Sooo not fair to K&J.  They are the parents, not me, and should be given their rights to parentage at the get-go.  I had no part in creating this glorious child. (Okay, apart from carrying it, of course, but that's been the easy part!)
  2. Will K&J be treated as the parents at the hospital?  (I certainly don't want that responsibility!)  He says most definitely.  Should we have to wait until after the baby is born for a post-birth order, I will execute a power of attorney before the birth of the baby which gives K&J full parental rights and authority when this precious child is born.  (DUH!!! They ARE the parents!)
After some back and forth with all parties involved (well, not really - we pretty much were all on the same page, LOL!), it was decided that we will be requesting that the Judge reconsider and will be filing a memorandum that goes into further detail of how and why he can grant the motion for a pre-birth order while outlining former cases and verdicts.  And, not to mention, the best interest of this unborn child to have his biological parents be able to make any and all decisions in relation to his well-being.  We are hoping the Judge can see that it would be a much better idea all across the board to grant this birth order before this butterball is born.

So, in essence, our attorneys are EDU-MA-CATING THE JUDGE. Let's all keep our fingers crossed!


  1. wow! i am shocked a judge would deny a pbo. he must know nothing about surrogacy! is it possible to see another judge? or go to another county? we can't use san diego county judges cause of the lady who was selling babies.

    1. I did ask if we could request another Judge and was told, although not impossible, we would need a very righteous reason. However, my attorney did mention that when we resubmit our memorandum, we MAY get another Judge who may or may not determine a verdict of his/her own. If our memorandum is seen by another Judge, that Judge has the option to direct the motion to the originating Judge. Confusing, I know.

      I'm not sure about going to another county?? Something to look into, but our attorneys feel quite confident that all is going to turn out well. Either that or they don't want to freak out a pregnant lady and new IPs more than they already are... ??