Monday, April 14, 2014

Here we go again...Maybe????.....Parent Side

It’s known within the surrogacy world that in fact, surrogacy statistics have been difficult to track, as they are not kept nationally. It’s impossible at this time to know the exact number of babies that are born each year by a surrogate, people use many different methods and routes. Our own family and friends may have assumed we wouldn’t have another baby, we beat the odds with Charlie. After 7 rounds of IVF, a few miscarriages and stillborn twins, we became parents. We were told by medical professionals it would be very difficult, yet clearly not impossible. We knew that having 1 baby was a miracle and we would never take this for granted. Yet, we would love a sibling for Charlie. We agreed that if it wasn’t possible to have another baby we would be more than okay, we would count our blessings and move on. Yet, especially for J, who was an only child for almost 14 years he really wanted a sibling for C and I wholehearted agreed. Two days after Charlie was born, as we were still in the hospital, J looked at me and said “we really can’t ask G again." He said after what I witnessed we can NOT ask her to go through that again. I knew where he was going with this, the famous birth was NOT exactly pain free. I looked at him and smiled and decided I wasn’t up for having this conversation 48 hours after our son was born. OH MY WORD......We dropped the topic. A few months had passed (barely) and J brought it up again. We talked about the expense, the process and if we were actually up for going through this journey again. We also talked about G. He said I don’t know if I feel comfortable asking G to be our surrogate again. She went through so much, had so many procedures, took time away from her family and work. I said to him, “no, we are asking, I want to ask her.” If she said no, and I would totally, completely understand if she did, then we would move on to other options, we would look for a new medical center (closer to our current home) to conduct our transfer and adventures and pursue other carriers. J agreed. Well, I got the lucky job of emailing G, and it was a little uncomfortable, not that I don’t think that at this point in our relationship, I couldn’t ask her anything or have in fact already, but admittedly. we felt a little nervous. She wrote back one of the most touching emails we had ever read. We prepped ourselves for if she said no. Secretly, we both knew no woman on the planet would ever compare. She is beyond amazing and always makes us laugh along the way. I know our agency would have done a good at finding a new carrier, but the truth was we kind of didn’t want anyone else. I can honestly say, that if I could choose anyone in the world (other than myself, naturally) I would have chosen her to carry our future baby. J agreed. We trust her and love her. It’s a connection that is impossible to truly understand unless you have gone through it. She’s like an extension of our family. Enough said. We decided that we wanted to start this process, if she agreed we would start the process in the fall, if she was interested and was medically cleared. Knowing it could take a year, to a year in a half but no matter what her response, we would completely understand. When she wrote us back and told us she was in (God love her) and her hubby and family were okay with it, we couldn’t believe it, we hit the lottery, again. J couldn't stop smiling all day, we were THRILLED. We don’t know what the future holds, but we do know that we are probably one of the luckiest families in the world and fingers crossed all good things ahead. 


  1. CONGRATS!!! I look forward to following along with your next journey!!!

  2. My sister rocks and so does Charlie's hair.. I love it